I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
