i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I think i got beer on your cat.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
