this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
