i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
it glows. i had to have it.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
