You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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