i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
