girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Someone came in the potted fern
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
