So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
