I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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