haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
