my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
