that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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