the day after is always just damage control
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
