Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
