i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
