dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
