Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
