I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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