i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
