I skipped work to stalk him.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
