bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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