Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
