I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
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