lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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