Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
