sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
