Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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