she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize