I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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