Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
