He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
