If that was your dad, he is hot
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
