Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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