i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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