Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
