i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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