Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
