my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
