We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize