I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
