WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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