is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
