I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
