I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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