you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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