Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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