...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
