only if we run a train.
done.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
