eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
