i would punch a child for taco bell
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
